Working from home and raising our kids together

Yes, it is true, I did say “together” and most of you are thinking, well yes, we raise our kids together too, but, it goes without saying that if one parent is at home raising the kids and the other is working then the roles become definitive. In the area that I live, most parents need to pay the bills. There are mortgages, car payments, household bills and simple expenses that come with raising kids. So it is not the choice that most people make, it is the way it is that one parent at least needs to work full time.

In our case, things are very different. When I fell pregnant at 23, I was a recent uni graduate living in a beachside town with my soon to be husband and was working full time as an employment consultant, my partner was a chippy but had recently hurt his back, badly. So he was no longer able to do labouring work and was in the midst of exploring other entrepreneurial options and had started playing with screen printing.  We were renting, paying our bills and managing fairly well. The news of our pregnancy was a bit of a shock as we weren’t like most new parents these days. For a start I was under 25 let alone under 30! We did not have a mortgage, lots of money or 5 cars between us! So what were we going to do? Well at first I took my unpaid maternity leave and basked in the glow of my newborn son, my husband by my side and embraced the family that I had next to me.

Soon it became inevitable that we had to plan some income for our future. The screenprinting gig had been going ok, we had a few jobs coming in and were printing stuff in our back shed. We then looked into another business in extension to screen printing, which was promotional products and decided that we would look at distributing these products to our customers, set up a website and see what happens. The thought of going back to a 9-5 job and leaving my beautiful family, tore my heart to pieces, but like thousands of others around me, I resorted to the fact that I may have to do this. That first year, we poured our hearts and souls into developing our website and finding reputable suppliers of promotional items. It was hard going, we were working hard and had very little payoff! At least once a month, I decided to go back to work and then a job would come in and we would be ok for 2 more days!

That was just under 3 years ago, and while we haven’t MADE it yet, we are well on our way. We had another child 17 months after our first son was born and we moved interstate, so it has been pretty hectic. We still do not have a mortgage or 5 cars, we do have a secure home as we live in a split house with my mother in law, who owns the house and rents our side to us for a very good price. Our business has been growing since it began, and while we do rely on some support from the Government to pay the bills, we are able to draw more and more from the business. We anticipate that this time next year, the business should be turning over enough for us to be not only dependant on it but thriving off it.

Now I have the self employment bug, my husband and I know our potential and the way we see it, if we can accomplish this much together in a short space of time while raising 2 young children, imagine the possibilities! We do feel very blessed that we can work so well together and while some moments are trying (any couple with 2 kids under 4 who are together 24/7 literally would feel some strain sometimes) for 90% of the time we are very happy, laughing and generally enjoying life.

The strange thing about this is, that we made the choice initially for our children. We both wanted to raise them, afterall why should only one of us be the main role model in their lives and watch them grow? I do feel kind of out of place at other parenting places such as playgroup or play centres. The majority of kids are there with their mums, dad is at work and will be back around dinner time, they are generally 6-10 years older than me and kind of give me a sympathetic smile as I pull my two boys out of the back of the ’87 toyota coupe and bring them into play. They click the button to the remote central locking of their max 5 year old four wheel drive and tell their children nicely to come inside and play.  The discussions often revolve around interest rates and mortgage payments and how their husbands jobs are going. I listen in, unable to relate at all and not really discussing my life much as I am sure that it is irrelevant to them anyway. I do think in my heart, that at least I can bring my kids home where dad will be waiting and can help me with lunch while I answer some work emails.

While I do accept that most families are more than comfortable with their living arrangements, child raising situations and financial place. I would not change my life in any other way. Sure, sometimes it is utter chaos and I think it would be easier to throw in the towel, chuck the kids in daycare and get a job, cause it is 1pm, the kids still are not dressed and I still have around 12 quotes to finish, but really all that mundane stuff is irrelevant when I look at the bigger picture.  Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I do dream of financial success and work hard in the hope that one day soon we will have several successful businesses and be free to travel, and live comfortably without financial worry, but if that doesn’t happen quite the way we envision, at least we have been together as a family and raising our children while challenging ourselves in a business sense and learning more than we ever have combined before.

So here’s to parents who make a conscious decision to put family first and work from home while raising the kids, its not as simple as it sounds, and I am proud of our efforts!

Vote for your fave recipe!

The competition for the best recipe has now closed, we now need to get voting for our favourite submitted choice. Voting commences 11th July 09 and will be closed on 31st July 09 The recipe with the most votes will win the cookbook! GET VOTING. Rally family and friends to vote for yours

Vote by clicking here and choosing your fave recipe!

To view the recipes again, go to this topic: http://www.familyfriendlyfun.com.au/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=73

The best recipe competition!

Family Friendly Fun has a new competition for the best family recipe. This will run until 3rd June 09, where members submit their recipes here  and then we put them up in a poll for voting. The lucky winner will receive a copy of Jamie Oliver’s book; Jamie’s Dinners: The Essential Family Cookbook. To be the best family recipe, we ask that recipes will be judged on the following criteria; healthy, tasty, affordable and easy to make! We look forward to seeing your recipes. If you are not a member of family friendly fun, register for free to post your recipe.

VIVA Victoria!

Saturday March 21st, 2009 there was a spectacular free event that was held in Federation Square in the Melbourne CBD. It is called “Viva! Victoria” and celebrates diversity and multiculturalism in Melbourne and Australia. The highlight of the festival was the performances on stage. Celebrating various traditions, the performers danced and played music from their traditional lands. The beautiful costumes and clever performances, were spectacular.

We had travelled in from Selby in the Dandenong ranges (by we, I mean myself, my MIL &  AIL and my 2 sons aged nearly 3 and 18 months)  by train to the city. At first, it was a little overwhelming for the kids as the large crowds was something that they were not used to. When they saw the performances, they started to be come more entertained as the bright colours and interesting movements were awe inspiring.

The festival also celebrated various nationalities by featuring a long row of food tents with delights ranging from Afghani cuisine to Danish. It was hard to decide on a meal as the amazing smells and site of the food was a sensory overload. Wanting to have a bit of everything, I needed to make a decision and opted for some Afghani lamb skewers and fragrant rice. Unfortunately, I was disappointed, and wish I had have selected the African stew or some Spanish sausage. The Italian ice cream certainly did make up for my poor choice for lunch, as it was creamy and delicious. The children joined my mother in law with a Pita bread, filled with Chicken, while fairly bland in flavour, was a safe choice considering that babies are naturally adverse to hot, spicy foods and my mother in law has an allergy to MSG. I still believe that my Aunty in Law made the best choice, her goop slightly resembled an Indian curry, but had the fantastic flavour of peanut and spice, kind of like a satay, but much more powerful. Her plate was covered in the stuff, and after my 3 lamb skewers on a small scoop of rice, I was insanely envious.

After eating, we then made our way to the world market, which, I personally find fascinating. All the hand crafts and amazing creations showcase such incredible talent. The best by far, going to the stall which had bowls made from recycled magazines and purses made from toothpaste tubes. It was very inspiring and such a clever way to use rubbish. If I hadn’t of been clutching my purse strings for a trip to Sydney, then I certainly would have bought one of those bowls. Oh Well, better luck next time.

To sum up, Viva! Victoria is definitely worth a look. As part of the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival it runs every year, so we will be sure to go back next year. Please feel free to submit your reviews of the event here.

Is it worth going organic?

Often a topic of discussion within family groups is whether or not they should make the choice to live an organic lifestyle. The reason that many consider the option or in fact decide to start living this way, is due to the pesticides, antibiotics and hormones that can be used to  produce food. Organic food is grown according to strict guidelines from the Australian Organic Association and can should be certified as such. According to organicfood.com.au some of the reasons that you should choose to eat organic food are that children are more vulnerable than adults to toxins, organic food is generally better for you, it is better for farmers as organic farming poses less risk than chemical based farming for developing cancers, and it prevents soil erosion. With a huge increase in organic sales in Australia in the past few years, it appears that Australians are embracing an organic lifestyle more than ever before. There is also a diverse range of parenting styles that exist now with strong views about living chemically free and choosing an organic lifestyle. With all this information and fear about what choices we are making for our families, it would appear on the surface that there is no choice but to go organic, afterall if you do not, you will be putting your family’s lives at stake!

Most organic food costs on average 20% more than standard food available in green grocers, butchers or supermarkets. So is it worth the huge cost, or a complete play on the social conscience of families? I, personally am not sure scientifically speaking, but from personal experience, the produce that we buy every fortnight at the markets, tastes fantastic and lasts for ages, so for us we buy farm produce wherever we can and enjoy a high nutritious life. Our groceries come from Aldi and we do not have a problem eating packet pasta, or tinned tomatoes. There has been much debate in our society about whether or not buying organic is worth the extra expense and I guess it comes down to individual belief systems and consciences.  There have been heated discussions within some of the mother’s groups that I have attended regarding organic produce and those that have strong convictions for living organic tend to get somewhat defensive of their choices, so the topic is then quickly changed as no-one likes a heated debate in the midst of children playing.

Organic lifestyles, as ideal as they seem, are a predominantly a choice of western, middle to high income people who have time to think about whether or not they should “go” organic. Large families, poorer people and those from less fortunate circumstances do not have the ‘luxury’ of  choosing whether or not to have organic dairy products and produce. There is also continued debate about whether organic food, with its slow growing and non pesticide practice would be a practical means of feeding the world.

All in all, I think that if you have the ability to consider living organic, than you are privileged. My family, while not purchasers of “certified organic” produce, do buy farm fresh meat and veges from the markets and find that it is cheaper, tastier and lasts a lot longer than the stuff that you can buy at the supermarket. We feel good supporting our local farmers and saving money. In our eyes, just because it is not certified, does not mean that it is not healthy and good for our growing children’s bodies.

When dad becomes mum for a day

I cannot believe how sick I was!

On Friday night I was struck with one of the worst bugs in a long time. I awoke at 11pm on Friday (having only been asleep for an hour) and I could not believe how bad I felt. At first it reminded me of when I was pregnant and suffered from severe heartburn. Unable to take the pain anymore, I got up and went downstairs and proceeded to raid the cupboards for some Quickease, I knew there was some somewhere. I found it deep in the canopies of the alcohol cupboard and quickly began chewing one. During my desperate attempts to relieve the seering pain in my stomach, I remembered that I had smelt a pooey nappy in my sons room on my way downstairs. So I grabbed a nappy and some wipes. God knows how I had the strength to change him. Soon after, I had an overwhelming pain in my stomach and had to go to the loo and hug the bowl. I was delirious, I felt so ill and it felt like it had come from nowhere. Every hour I was making the long treck down the hallway to the bathroom and whenever I returned to bed, I was shaking and cold. I decided that I may aswell sleep on the bathroom floor and curled up on the mat for about 1/2 hour to rest in between bouts of sickness.

The next day, I awoke to an overwhelming tiredness. I had nothing left in my stomach so the toilet visits were less frequent, so I sipped on some water and tried to make up for some much needed sleep. My husband had to take on my role for a day,  as he knew that I was feeling out of sorts.  He took the kids downstairs and made their breakfast and even faced a pooey nappy, which for him is usually a no go zone. I rose out of bed at around 11am, my body was aching and I needed a change of scenery and I came downstairs with my blanket and proceeded to sip on lemon mineral water. He and our eldest son had been making paper boats and hats, which I was very pleased to see as my son had been talking about this the night before. Later in the day, I was feeling tired again and decided I needed to go and have some rest. My hubby decided to come too and try putting the kids down for an afternoon nap. I dropt off to sleep soon after, only to be woken by my screaming son who was refusing to settle. Our eldest son had gone off to sleep, but our youngest is a shocker when it comes to sleep. My husband tried putting him in our bed, and he would not stop crying, he then simply rolled over and ignored the crying child. Frustrated, I picked up my son and took him downstairs. I looked around and saw the mess and thought I had better do a bit of tidying up, so I started to unpack the dishwasher. I was clearly annoyed that he had reacted this way and could not believe the selfish behaviour! He soon came down and said sorry and told me I could go back up to bed. If I hadn’t of been feeling so bad, I may have been stubborn, but I really needed the rest, so I went up and dosed off some more. When I came back down, our youngest had fallen asleep and my husband was on the computer. He then proceeded with the normal daily rituals of preparing dinner, bathing the kids and tidying up (well sort of) By the end of the day, he was clearly exhausted and frustrated and retired to bed. A terrible day was finally at an end! I think despite everything, he had coped very well and hopefully in the process came to appreciate some of the things that I do on a normal day. At least I know that if I ever get sick in the future, that my husband can put on the mum gloves and take care of all the things that I usually do.

The importance of Family Opinions

The family unit is an ever changing and evolving structure that consists of a number of diverse make ups. In Australia, there are many products and venues that are targeted at families and all of their marketing is driven to target that large group. While advertising does have its place, there is still a need within our community to share our own experiences with others from the ground perspective. Families often discuss within their own circles, the benefits or problems of certain products, places or activities. This is often more of a guide than what an advertisement is claiming or an article in the paper.

An example of the family word of mouth discussions is at playgroup. Mums (& Dad’s too) are sitting around discussing what they got up to on the weekend. One mother explains that she took her son to the new wildlife park that has opened in a certain suburb. Everyone, having heard about the park, ask her what she thought. She explains that while it was very interactive, she felt there were some safety aspects that had been ignored. Everyone pipes up to listen as she gives detailed descriptions of uneven paths and wires that her kids had tripped over. Not to mention the feed time frenzy. This makes the parents more aware and they can choose to visit the venue with knowledge or not attend based on knowledge. So what if this information was accessible for families all the time? Well now it is. Family Friendly Fun is a website dedicated to families and their opinions. It is comprised of a reviews section, where families can upload products, venues or activities for review and they can review existing products that have already been uploaded. This allows for families to share their experiences and also reading about other families experiences. So if you want to share your user reviews regarding anything that you can recommend or boycott as a family, then please register at family friendly fun for FREE and get submitting.

Bushfire Threats- Our Family’s Reaction

The bushfires of Black Saturday have not only stirred the consciences of most Australians in general, but they have also encouraged a vigilant response to fire danger in drought stricken Victoria. For our family, this is our second summer living in the tree filled area of Selby in the Dandenong ranges. Last year, we barely even thought about fires, we had an extreme heatwave in March, with 10 consecutive days over 35, and we just stayed indoors with the air conditioning going, oblivious to the danger that our surroundings contained. Thank God, there were no significant fire threats. This year, we have been more on the ball. Even before black Saturday, we had constructed our bushfire survival plan and were ready to act upon it should anything threaten us. The reason was mainly awareness campaigns from the CFA and Government about being fire ready, messages that made us act upon advice.

When Black Saturday happened, we were on holidays at Apollo Bay on the Great Ocean Road, and could not believe the devastation that had occured for these communities, some of which aren’t that far from where we live. Since then our fire plans have been put into action twice, which is really a good way to test individual reactions. Our family has since been divided on this issue with all of us deciding to leave early, its just a premise of  How Early.

Our first experience with a fire threat happened two weeks ago, we had Elvis and other water bombing helicopters pass over the roof of our house. We were monitoring the CFA website for updates, and even though the fire was on the other side of Belgrave, my husband and I felt safe. My mother in law (who lives in the same house, on the other side of the wall) on the other hand, was panic stricken. We had our bags ready, just in case, but it was she who insisted that we evacuate. This did rouse some emotion in me, I felt safe, I was watching the website, they had crews working on the fire, our suburb in particular was not under alert and the fire was heading North, (we were South of the fire) so I did not want to go at that time. Yet, her insistance was so strong and I had 2 young boys to think about, so I reluctantly packed everything in her car and left for my sister in law’s house, further within the Dandenongs in the town of Emerald. My husband refused to come and decided to stay, feeling the same way as me, that the fire was being controlled (and that was its status on the CFA website) so lets just be alert, have our bags packed and water ready just in case, but no, other family members feel that leaving upon any sign of a threat is more practical. Half way to our destination, the mobile rings, I pick it up, its Matt (hubby) ” (Laughing) She is not going to turn around anyway, but just to let you know, the alert message has been downgraded to an awareness message, and the fire is contained.” I look over at my mother in law and tell her the news; “Well, I’m not turning around now” I mean afterall, we had driven a whole 2 km’s down the road, who would turn back? So, we arrive at Sis in laws, the kids think its all exciting, running around and playing at 9pm, we stay for an hour just because and then leave again. This experience was good for us, because it did show what our feelings were regarding our reactions to fires and our decisions. I was made to feel by some members of my family that I was not vigilant in the face of a fire threat, because I did not want to leave as soon as a fire threat loomed. Of course I would evacuate if we were threatened or if the fire front was heading toward us, but I do not feel it necessary when I have core advice and updates that I need to leave if the fire is not a threat to us directly.

Last Monday, we had to put our survival plan into practice. My mother and sister in law had left early in the day to go to my Brother in Laws house near the city, because it was a total fire ban day. We had decided to stick with our original plan and stay home, monitor updates and have our gear ready just in case. At about 3.30pm, we turned on the CFA website and had a look, and there was a fire burning in Upwey which is North from here, about 10km from us. The little (i) symbol came up and it said to be on alert for our area. I ran around and double checked that our bag was ready, the kids had shoes on and that our stuff was ready to go, just in case. I then went outside, to see if I could smell smoke and to my surprise, saw a huge area of rising smoke to the North beyond the trees, I called my hubby, we began implementing our escape plan. He turned our fire pump on, we got the kids in the car and off we went. We then decided to come back, (the fire was nowhere near us yet) to turn the pump down so that we did not waste the water. We checked the website again and the alert had been upgraded, so we left. We went to Knox Shopping Centre, and checked the status updates, to our surprise, the threat was listed as being close to our next street, so we made plans to set up for the night. In the end, we ended up at Cockatoo and stayed at Matt’s Aunty’s place, we spent hours getting there as there were so many road closures, but this did not concern us as we had left early, we had implemented our plan and we were safe.

To sum up I think while it is good to be vigilant and aware on high fire danger days, it is simply not practical to pack up and leave as soon as the mercury climbs over 30. The whole state would stop if this happened, and living a gypsie existance the whole of summer seems absurd to us, especially having two children. We feel confident that we left early, but not too early and we certainly did not leave it too late. If fire does threaten us again, we will have no problem implementing our fire plan and evacuating, but not on the premise that there ‘might’ be a fire. We have lives to live and being in a panicked state as soon as it is hot or high fire danger is unhelpful to the community as a whole.

Family Recipes

We are excited about having a recipes section within the forum at family friendly fun, as cooking within a family is usually a daily occurance. Many family memories are shared at meal times as famous dishes are prepared in our kitchens. Sometimes it can be exasperating coming up with different types of dinners or lunches, and the whole process can be a bit annoying. Despite this, there are always those family favourites, like mum’s curried sausages or home made pizza that you have on a regular basis. We welcome you to share your recipes with other families as well as take ideas from our forum and enjoy the process that is family meal time.

http://www.familyfriendlyfun.com.au/phpBB3/viewforum.php?f=6

The Great Ocean Road- Our family journey

Twelve Apostles

Last Wednesday, our family of five (Me, Hubby, His Mum, and our 2 boys) departed from our Dandenong ranges dwelling and headed toward the coast for a beach holiday on the Great Ocean Road. We had made a holiday house booking in November for departure in February, so we had months of anticipation. Our destination? Apollo Bay. We had investigated the region with many a google search, finding out the most resourceful and practical place that we could lay our hats as we venture around. Apollo Bay seemed to be somewhat in the centre of the area, with a large selection of places to choose from to stay and many resources including shops, just in case.

We left as early as possible last Wednesday to make the journey, with two kids under 3, getting out any time before 10 is a feat. Our trip from home to Geelong was non eventful, it was only when we got to Torquay did we feel like our trip had really begun. Looking out to the left, the vast turquoise and deep blue ocean spans along the rugged coast line, the drive was truly awe inspiring. We savoured every last picturesque view, despite an exasperated 17 month old, screaming and squirming impatiently in the backseat.

We stopped over at Lorne for lunch at the Lorne Hotel. Unfortunately for us, the meals were ridiculously expensive for a pub, and there was nothing simple like ” Fish n Chips” We had the calamari which was $24.90 for a main and absolutely bland and chewy. We liked the look of our son’s kids meal, a slab of frozen fish with a scoop of chips for $6.90 actually seemed appetising, well kind of. You can read our review here.

So, after a disappointing lunch, we scooped the kids back into the cars, (Matt’s mum drove her car with Cayden in the back and us in ours with Owen in the back) and headed toward our holiday house. Coming into Apollo Bay, was spectacular. The town had such an inviting feel, with the turquoise ocean on one side and the main street with shops all down the other side with stunning hills as our backdrop. We picked up our keys and went to explore this long awaited dwelling. When we arrived, the kids were so happy to be there. Owen was crawling around and investigating the backyard (all fenced thank God). We went inside and had a look, marvelled at how big the place was and unpacked our stuff.

The next day, we had some visitors arrive, as Matt’s uncle and his wife were travelling through, they had intended on heading further down the coast, but upon realising the time, we invited them to stay. It was Julie’s (Paul’s wife) birthday, so we decided we would venture out to the Apollo Bay Hotel for a celebration and meal. The atmosphere here was delightful, the food enchanting and our moods, happy. Read our review.

Our stay was set for seven days, so we wanted to get as much packed in as possible, in the most leisurely way we could think of. During our stay, we ventured out to the Cape Otway Lightstation to see the lighthouse and learn about the history. Dad had called and had told Matt that there are wild Koalas all around the area in trees and much to our  surprise, we spotted one on the way to the lighthouse!                                                 We proceeded to the lighthouse and had a great time looking around at the view and reading about the  shipwrecks that had happened in the area. The lighthouse itself was incredible, and windy!

We also ventured down the rest of the Great Ocean Road, stopping on the way to see the Twelve Apostles. Our journey took us to the town of Warrnambool, which was a place that had all the ammenities of city life, yet right by the Ocean. I instantly decided that I would venture back to Warrnambool in the near future and spend some time there. We only had a couple of hours to spend there and this simply was not enough.

Our experience extended to a trip to the Otway Fly, which according to the brochures, was a walk among the tree tops. We had also seen that there was a prehistoric track, which we knew would be a spectacular experience for our two and half year old son. The walk was incredible and simply unique! There was a sense of serenity and peace felt while looking down to the green ground cover below from 25 metres above. Cayden loved the dinosaurs and we feel that he was awe inspired. Feel free to read about our Otway Fly experience here.

The only downside of the experience was that we didn’t get to go on a charter for fishing as it was too windy and the weather got a bit chilly later in the week, so there was not much swimming! I guess you can’t have everything

To sum up, we had a lovely family holiday on the Great Ocean Road, and feel that it is a wonderful holiday idea for families. The idea of renting out a holiday house for the week, was brilliant, as it meant the kids were more settled and had more room to run around. Do the Great Ocean Road if you haven’t already, it truly is amazing!