Yes, it is true, I did say “together” and most of you are thinking, well yes, we raise our kids together too, but, it goes without saying that if one parent is at home raising the kids and the other is working then the roles become definitive. In the area that I live, most parents need to pay the bills. There are mortgages, car payments, household bills and simple expenses that come with raising kids. So it is not the choice that most people make, it is the way it is that one parent at least needs to work full time.
In our case, things are very different. When I fell pregnant at 23, I was a recent uni graduate living in a beachside town with my soon to be husband and was working full time as an employment consultant, my partner was a chippy but had recently hurt his back, badly. So he was no longer able to do labouring work and was in the midst of exploring other entrepreneurial options and had started playing with screen printing. We were renting, paying our bills and managing fairly well. The news of our pregnancy was a bit of a shock as we weren’t like most new parents these days. For a start I was under 25 let alone under 30! We did not have a mortgage, lots of money or 5 cars between us! So what were we going to do? Well at first I took my unpaid maternity leave and basked in the glow of my newborn son, my husband by my side and embraced the family that I had next to me.
Soon it became inevitable that we had to plan some income for our future. The screenprinting gig had been going ok, we had a few jobs coming in and were printing stuff in our back shed. We then looked into another business in extension to screen printing, which was promotional products and decided that we would look at distributing these products to our customers, set up a website and see what happens. The thought of going back to a 9-5 job and leaving my beautiful family, tore my heart to pieces, but like thousands of others around me, I resorted to the fact that I may have to do this. That first year, we poured our hearts and souls into developing our website and finding reputable suppliers of promotional items. It was hard going, we were working hard and had very little payoff! At least once a month, I decided to go back to work and then a job would come in and we would be ok for 2 more days!
That was just under 3 years ago, and while we haven’t MADE it yet, we are well on our way. We had another child 17 months after our first son was born and we moved interstate, so it has been pretty hectic. We still do not have a mortgage or 5 cars, we do have a secure home as we live in a split house with my mother in law, who owns the house and rents our side to us for a very good price. Our business has been growing since it began, and while we do rely on some support from the Government to pay the bills, we are able to draw more and more from the business. We anticipate that this time next year, the business should be turning over enough for us to be not only dependant on it but thriving off it.
Now I have the self employment bug, my husband and I know our potential and the way we see it, if we can accomplish this much together in a short space of time while raising 2 young children, imagine the possibilities! We do feel very blessed that we can work so well together and while some moments are trying (any couple with 2 kids under 4 who are together 24/7 literally would feel some strain sometimes) for 90% of the time we are very happy, laughing and generally enjoying life.
The strange thing about this is, that we made the choice initially for our children. We both wanted to raise them, afterall why should only one of us be the main role model in their lives and watch them grow? I do feel kind of out of place at other parenting places such as playgroup or play centres. The majority of kids are there with their mums, dad is at work and will be back around dinner time, they are generally 6-10 years older than me and kind of give me a sympathetic smile as I pull my two boys out of the back of the ’87 toyota coupe and bring them into play. They click the button to the remote central locking of their max 5 year old four wheel drive and tell their children nicely to come inside and play. The discussions often revolve around interest rates and mortgage payments and how their husbands jobs are going. I listen in, unable to relate at all and not really discussing my life much as I am sure that it is irrelevant to them anyway. I do think in my heart, that at least I can bring my kids home where dad will be waiting and can help me with lunch while I answer some work emails.
While I do accept that most families are more than comfortable with their living arrangements, child raising situations and financial place. I would not change my life in any other way. Sure, sometimes it is utter chaos and I think it would be easier to throw in the towel, chuck the kids in daycare and get a job, cause it is 1pm, the kids still are not dressed and I still have around 12 quotes to finish, but really all that mundane stuff is irrelevant when I look at the bigger picture. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I do dream of financial success and work hard in the hope that one day soon we will have several successful businesses and be free to travel, and live comfortably without financial worry, but if that doesn’t happen quite the way we envision, at least we have been together as a family and raising our children while challenging ourselves in a business sense and learning more than we ever have combined before.
So here’s to parents who make a conscious decision to put family first and work from home while raising the kids, its not as simple as it sounds, and I am proud of our efforts!
